Understanding your darker side

Jan 24, 2016 by

One of my favorite quotes is by Carl Jung: ”One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious.”   This resonates with me so much, I think, because I’ve spent the last 10 years reading, listening to, absorbing, mimicking, and meditating on the following mantras: “Just think positive thoughts.”; “All we are is love and light.”; “This too will pass.”; “Transcend your ego.”  I have pages and pages of words in countless journals asking, no, pleading, with God or the Universe to please help me be better and rid myself of negativity. I think to myself, “God please help me be more loving, more compassionate, more understanding.” Let me just go ahead and say, nothing is wrong with praying for these things, but not once did I ever stop...

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Trauma from generation to generation...

Jan 8, 2016 by

What is overwhelming and unnameable is passed on to those we are closest to. Our loved ones carry what we cannot. And we do the same. This is the subject of Lost in Transmission: Studies of Trauma Across Generations, edited by M. Gerard Fromm (2012). This collection of essays on traumatic transmission builds on the idea that “what human beings cannot contain of their experience—what has been traumatically overwhelming, unbearable, unthinkable—falls out of social discourse, but very often on to and into the next generation as an affective sensitivity or a chaotic urgency.” The transmission of trauma may be particular to a given family suffering a loss, such as the death of an infant, or it can be a shared response to societal trauma. Maurice De Witt, a sidewalk Santa on Fifth Avenue noticed...

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Toxic Thoughts

Dec 11, 2015 by

1. IT’S SOMEONE ELSE’S FAULT. This is the worst toxic thought you can have – the need to blame others is strong because you yourself don’t want to be blamed for your faults. But guess what, you’ve got fault. Embrace them. Let them make you a better person. 2. LIFE ISN’T FAIR. Of course life isn’t fair. At what point has life seemed anywhere near fair? In this life, life isn’t fair and your chances aren’t always good. You need to accept this. And hey, look on the bright side, if you’re on your phone or computer reading this right now, you’re doing better than most people in the world. 3. I’M NOT PRIVILEGED. Shut up. Yes you are. You’re privileged as hell. 4. LIVE LIFE LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW. No way. Absolutely live...

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Nail Biting – Perfectionism...

Dec 1, 2015 by

Many people think of nail biting as a nervous habit, but the driving force may not be anxiety. Mounting evidence shows that people who compulsively bite their nails, pick their skin or pull their hair are often perfectionists, and their actions may help soothe boredom, irritation and dissatisfaction. The study, published in the March issue of the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, points to perfectionism — a trait that can be more damaging than many people realize — as an underlying cause. “We believe that individuals with these repetitive behaviors may be perfectionistic, meaning that they are unable to relax and to perform task at a ‘normal’ pace,” Dr. Kieron O’Connor, professor of psychiatry at the university and the study’s lead author, said in a press release Tuesday. “They are therefore prone to...

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LET GO

Nov 11, 2015 by

It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end.  Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. – it doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those parts of your life that are over. It’s all about embracing the truth: What has happened is uncontrollable; what you do now changes everything! Of course, knowing this and actually living a lifestyle that reinforces this truth are two very different things.  Letting go is NOT easy – it’s a journey that is traveled one day at a time.  If you stick with it, here’s what your journey will ultimately teach you:   The most powerful changes happen in your life when you decide to take...

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Your Mind – Your Reality

Oct 21, 2015 by

Frustration Issues—Being Stuck in a Rut Monkey Mind—Boredom—Disgruntled Do any of the above words describe how you feel? My mind is in turmoil. It goes round and round in a never ending circle. What exactly is bothering me? I am bored and feel like breaking away and out of my roles and ruts. What are the underlying and nagging issues? I am frustrated, bored, irritable and disconnected? Why can I not identify the cause of all these feelings? READ MORE …….. Your Mind Your...

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How People View Change

Oct 20, 2015 by

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~ Mary Engelbreit   How people view change 1          Those who Avoid Change Advantages Disadvantages Advice You are happy with your lot, you do not get bored often You might become stifled by the limiting routine Get in touch with your emotions and listen to your intuition You usually find answers within yourself You are putting up with things, when they could be better Change can be gradual. Look at what you want and You are decisive because you are a creature of habit Past disappointments are influencing your decision making Find the courage to enjoy the unexpected You are in a rut. Envisage change. Imagine other possibilities. There is a possibility that you might...

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YOUR POINT OF NO RETURN – could be mundane...

Oct 19, 2015 by

1          Partners lose interest in one another’s lives Boredom and predictability. Your lives have evolved into a predictable routine resulting in boredom. This is either a defensive situation or a symptom of something more serious. This is a situation that can easily be resolved. Relationships grow stagnant when they need to develop and grow. One or both partners are scared of change. Possible Remedy Sit down and imagine where you’d like to be in two years’ time. Then discuss your images. Break the journey down into manageable steps. A problem dealt head-on becomes manageable. Serious damage is done by avoiding problems. 2        Other people are involved.   Being intrigued by another person. Finding another person intriguing and feeling a little tingly during an animated coffee break with a colleague is a sure early warning...

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